What Up Shorty?!

A few of my girlfriends and I were recently out having drinks and listening to some jazz. And I don't know if you've ever been to Knoxville, but there is a serious professional, working, educated, less than two children-having, non-momma's boy black man drought around this piece! So I was surprised when I spotted a decent looking brother at the bar making eye contact. Hell, surprised isn't the word... I was ENTHRALLED!!!

I played it cool and made my way to the restroom, only to take the scenic route back to our booth where we had been taking in the sights and sounds for the night! I accidentally brushed his foot as I perused by his bar stool. The band was jamming a John Mayer song, so I was even more delighted when he knew the words. He invited me to sit down and we chatted for a minute!

He was wonderful! Well-spoken, well-traveled, charming, nice-physique, and appropriately dressed for the evening! He is an engineer at a company that will remain nameless. Grew up in various cities due to his step-father's military ties. His mother was an English professor and author (Love Love Love It). He had no kids. He was making plans to go back to school to pursue his PhD! Had just purchased his first home. No visible tattoos in his Polo shirt! He was perfect!

After he offered me a drink (which I declined for reasons you'll find out about in a later post), he asked me to dance. Typically, I'm a bit hesitant to dance with strangers, because 1.) Most men get happy at the sight of a large posterior badonkadonk behind and 2.) I'd hate to embarrass this man. However, I digress. I led to the dance floor and as I prepared to turn around, I could see my friends chuckle in our booth. It was nothing new... as these fools cut up on a regular.

To my surprise, these heffas had an actual, factual reason to cut up in this situation. This man had to be all of 5 foot 6 inches. I'm not saying that there is something wrong with it, but I'm 5'5 and a half without shoes. And on this particular night, I had on 5.5 inch heels. I was devistated :-(

We finished an Outkast song and I rushed back to our booth. Expecting the antics and buffoonery of my entourage, to my surprise, there was none! They were like, "Girl, he is cute! Did you give him your number, or did you take his?" I was a little too shocked at their reactions to let them know then, but something in me wanted one of them to get sick, get hungry, or get a booty call. I just didn't want to be there, because I had NO clue how I was going to blow of this immaculate brother.

Before I start, I can admit: I am a little shallow! I seem to have an issue with men shorter than me, but I do not know why. I would say that I have a specific height in mind, but truly, I just want a man to be taller than me when I put on some heels. And when he's not... I loose a little respect for him.

And being that I have an utter DISGUST for most basketball players, my dating pool just got significantly smaller.

Who do I blame?

I blame men!
All of our lives our fathers, uncles, and grandfathers hold these high esteems in our perspectives and based on our point of view, they are much larger. So as we grow, we like men we can look up to, and when we can't, we lose our respect. Well, that's just my opinion!

Fashion

Why are flat shoes so disturbing to me? If it were not for the socially acceptable and sexually demanding appeal of the high heel (It rhymed) there is no way I would sacrifice my comfort. Thus probably causing me to lose out on what could be my perfect mate sans the height to breed the stallions I desire for offspring.

My Momma
I blame her for marrying my 6-foot plus daddy and having my 6-foot plus brother. Because, now short men are just unnatural to me!

See: My Giant Brother

Long Wedding Gowns

Honestly, how often will people see you stand next to your husband? You work on average 40/hours a week that's about 9 hours a day including lunch breaks. You're supposed to sleep 8 hours. That leaves 7 hours in a day! And how many of those hours will you be standing? Right! But the one time that people will truly see you stand together is your wedding. And I don't know about you, but I'm trying to rock some sky-high, neck- breaking Manolo Blahnik, Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo's on my BIG day and a short man won't go good with my shoes my shoes wouldn't go good with a short man!

So I guess I can all and all blame this one on society! :-(